Yet our Father above loves us so much, we don't have to wait all year long to get right with Him. Don't get me wrong, New Years is a splendid time for a fresh start. I was saved on December 31, 2011. But some may not realize, we have every day, hour and even BREATH as a fresh start. Every broken heart and prayer of repentance, our lives can turn around. We can be made new. I'm a child of the King. I am in no way worthy, I never have been, and unfortunately, I never will be. But now is the time that I have decided to do my best and try my hardest to live in such a way that God may see me worthy of His love and grace. Before 2016 began, I was DETERMINED to be PERFECT in the new year. It was going to be the year of Brittany, like in the funny sitcom, 'The Middle.' I was going to drink water, eat healthy, exercise, read my Bible and pray daily, do every possible thing to be the best. To better myself in every way. But for what? Thinking of all of this change, God did come to mind, but He wasn't my reasoning for all that I wanted to achieve. In fact, He started to become less and less of the focus of my great endeavors. I wanted to be perfect, not for the glory of my God, but for my own glory. Our Church was planning a Daniel Fast for the beginning of the year and I was ready and set. I didn't even make it one day until God took off my blinders and showed me why I really wanted to do this fast. Why I really wanted to change. For myself. Selfishness. Conceit. Vanity. Pride. Not holiness, prayer, purity, love... But for pride. Knowing I was doing everything for the wrong reasons, I stopped the fast. I did my own. And no, I didn't do it successfully. Not at all. I didn't even pray. I've been so tired for so long of not feeling anything. Not feeling like God is doing anything in my life, hearing or answering my prayers, or even feeling His presence. But this past week in a lot of little things, God has slowly been revealing to me what it really takes. What it takes to feel His loving presence in my life. His arms wrapping around me when I'm scared and alone. For Matthew 7:21 says, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." The Will of the Father is not to harbor pride and jealousy in our hearts. His will is not to compete with your brothers and sisters in Christ, and His will is certainly not meant for bitterness and hatred. His will is for us to have a relationship with His son, that He so lovingly sent for us, Jesus Christ. Not a friend with benefits that we only call on during our time of need for a helping hand. NOT a Santa that we give our list of wants and needs to. But a savior. A savior MORE THAN WORTHY of our time and praise... Of a daily relationship that He DIED to have... Blood was shed but we can't even bother to hardly open His word more than once a week. We don't see the need to go to Him in prayer unless we're asking for something that we think we need. Many of us that make resolutions or annual vows to change our ways and return to the Lord, by almost February have sadly ALREADY given up. 'Oh well, I'll do better next year.' Let me be the one to tell you, TODAY is the day you can make a change in your life. The mercies of the Lord are new every morning. God says it doesn't have to be a brand new year to come running back to Him, His arms are already waiting, outstretched for you. All of the things you've been holding, carrying for so long until you think you just might break; God will take them for you. It was never His wish for you to bear the burdens of this world alone. Often I wondered, why would God even create us when ultimately, He knew what the outcome would be. We would stumble into sin, and enter a lifelong pursuit of sickness, pain and strife... Why would He still create us, knowing what trouble we would cause? Because He LOVES us THAT much... Knowing what we would do, He still gave us the gift of life and the choice to choose eternal life through Him. Not just when He created us, but everyday. Every day His graces and mercies are new. If you have a prayer you've had all your life that maybe you have given up on or feel like giving up on..? Don't ever lose hope. I stand here today, arms raised high in honor of my Lord and savior for all that He has done for me that I NEVER imagined I would see come to pass.
But here we are, in 2016.❤️
A year I never thought I would see.
After almost 30 years, 21 of which, after I learned how, I prayed for my dad. And this year, he has stopped smoking. I prayed for a long time, and ultimately, I had given up. But lately I've seen a beautiful change in my father and I couldn't not be more thankful. Now, it's my turn to change. I have overcome many things that honestly, I knew I wouldn't. Through most all of my teenage life, I survived, depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide, addiction, betrayal, hatred, bitterness, atheism, and what I can only think to call demonic possession. By the grace of God and His overwhelming plan for my life, I am an overcomer. Against each and every odd placed on my life by the enemy, I graduated high school. I fell in love. I made it to and graduated college, and now, I'm beginning the job of my dreams. If you would have asked me a week or two ago, I would say I have it altogether, and this is really going to be the year of Brittany. But it's not about me. This is the year of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. And I don't have it altogether. From a worldly perspective, one may say I have it made. But when you really think about it, none of that matters if you don't have a real and true relationship with Jesus. We're broken without Him. While I could not be more thankful for all that He has blessed me with, there was just something missing, and that was a true relationship with Him. So here you are, 2016. Never thought I'd live to see 'ya. This is the year for change, a relationship with our savior, and becoming a better person. This is the year that I know without a doubt where I'll be going when the Sweet Lord returns. This is the year of mending and forgiveness. This is the year I say goodbye to the Brittany that I've been getting to know for 21 years, and say hello to the Brittany that God created, the Brittany that is blessed more than she would have ever imagined, and the Brittany who is now choosing to let God live through her. I was told these things could not be beaten. That I would never make it to where I am. But there is a God above who loves to rise above any and all expectations.
He paid it all, all to Him I owe.
& It's about time that I pay up.❤️
"It would be good to finish what you started a year ago, last year, you were the first who wanted to give, and were the first to begin doing it. Now you should finish what you started. Let the eagerness you showed in the beginning be matched now by your giving."
~2nd Corinthians 8:10-11
xoxo
Brittany
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