Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Jesus Saves.
Monday, September 8, 2014
"15 Things you should not say to someone struggling with depression."
1. “Other people have it much worse than you do.”
NBC
Someone else having problems does not make your problems disappear.
What you should say instead: I’m sorry that you’re hurting. How can I help you?2. “You’ll feel better tomorrow.”
ABC
This isn’t fair, and it puts a lot of pressure on a person who is already struggling every single day to find the light again. Depression isn’t something that goes away overnight.
What you should say instead: Take it one day at a time, and I’ll be here with you through them all.3. “Life isn’t fair.”
Paramount Pictures
This is, once again, downplaying this person’s feelings. No, life may not be fair, but that won’t make them feel any better about their situation.
What you should say instead: I’m so sorry this has happened to you, but we can and WILL get you through this.4. “You just have to deal with it.”
Paramount Pictures
Someone who struggles with depression IS dealing with it…every single day…as best they can. Saying this undermines them and could make them feel as if they aren’t good enough.
What you should say instead: You don’t have to deal with this alone. I am here for you.5. “Life goes on.”
Lifetime / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com
Yeah, life does go on, but for someone dealing with depression, it can feel as if they are stuck with no way out. They probably have trouble imagining getting through a day, let alone the entire week.
What you should say instead: You have so much to live for, and I will be with you to help you rediscover those things.6. “I know how you feel, I was depressed once.”
HBO
It might go without saying, but no one person’s feelings are exactly the same. This could make them feel as if you’re downplaying their feelings and struggle. Not everyone deals with things the same way, and that holds true for depression. And let us all remember: Depression is much more than a bad mood or bad day.
What you should say instead: I can only imagine what you must be going through, but I will try to understand the best I can.7. “You’re being selfish.”
FOX
Chances are, a person struggling with depression is probably already being incredibly hard on themselves. They don’t need you to cut them down, as well. And remember, depression is not a choice. They are not choosing to do this.
What you should say instead: I really miss you. What can I do to help?8. “Go out, have fun, have a drink, and forget about it.”
Bravo / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com
A night out on the town is no cure for depression. Depression isn’t just a bad day. It’s a hundred bad days, all at once, with seemingly no way out.
What you should say instead: I would love to spend some time with you, and I’m more than willing to be your shoulder to lean on. Maybe we can grab some coffee and catch up?9. “You’re bringing me down.”
CW
Again, repeat after me: Depression is not a choice. A person struggling with depression may feel helpless. They are struggling to help themselves; the last thing they need is the extra worry and pain of trying to help you.
What you should say instead: I hate seeing you so down. What can I do to help?10. “What do you even have to be depressed about?”
CW
Depression isn’t always caused by a traumatic or sad event. Sometimes, it just happens. That doesn’t make it any less serious.
What you should say instead: I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were struggling, I’m here now.11. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
CBS
There’s a big difference in feeling sorry for yourself, and struggling with depression, although sometimes the two go hand in hand.
What you should say instead: I can see that you are struggling, and it makes me upset. What can I do?12. “You need to go on a run.”
Screen Gems
Although exercise can help combat bad days, when someone is struggling with depression it may be too difficult to even get out of bed some days.
What you should say instead: I need a walking buddy! Will you walk with me?13. “You just need to get out of the house!”
Bravo / Via realitytvgifs.tumblr.com
Again, for someone struggling with depression, leaving the house could seem next to impossible. And even if they do, leaving the house isn’t a fix for depression.
What you should say instead: I don’t like the thought of you dealing with this alone. Maybe I can come over or we can go somewhere together.14. “Everyone else is dealing with life, so why can’t you?”
Vh1
Depression is not a choice. It is not a choice. It happens. And when it happens, it will affect anyone and everyone differently.
What you should say instead: You seem to be having a difficult time and I just want you to know that I’m here.15. “You’re strong, you’ll be fine.”
ABC
Depression will make anyone feel weak and helpless.
What you should say instead: I believe in you, and I know you can get through this. I will be here every step of the way.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, please know that help is available. Call 1-800-273-8255 or visit this website anytime.
You are not alone.'The Ties That Bind Us Together As Women"
The Ties That Bind Us Together As Women September 4, 2014 • “Don’t worry about being right, just worry about being kind.” – Tilly Therber, my grandmother It’s not the difficulty of my decisions that bothers me. As a woman, I can deal with the uncertainty, the fear and the doubt that accompany my choices. I can handle the weight of that responsibility. What I’m struggling to accept is this: When I look around me, it appears that we women have allowed the decisions we’re faced with in our lives—intimate, vulnerable and personal decisions—to become what define us and what divide us. And it’s something we’ve all been wounded by at one time or another. It’s not always obvious of course. It’s the scowl on another woman’s face when she hears you are taking off work for a week-long vacation. It’s the tone in another woman’s voice when she asks where your baby’s hat is “in this weather.” Yet it’s something that every one of us is guilty of. It’s the faces we make and the tones we take. It’s the eye rolls and the passive-aggressive comments. It’s the disapproval and judgment that oozes out of every pore of our bodies. And really, why do we care? Why do we care if another mother chooses natural childbirth or modern medicine? Why do we feel so compelled to turn up our noses at how she spends her money or what she wears? Why are we so appalled when a woman works full-time just weeks after giving birth or stays home full-time when her children are in school all day? Why is another woman’s work life and personal life and family’s life and child’s life any of our freaking business? But most of all, why are we so consumed with the things that divide us instead of the ties that bind us? Often, the reason we’re so quick to judge other women with decisions different from our own is that we aren’t completely comfortable with our own choices. The woman with a full-time office job looks down on the stay-at-home mom while battling her own guilt when she can’t attend every class party and field trip. The stay-at-home mom judges the woman working long hours while at the same time struggling with her own sense of identity and purpose. We’re all starving for grace, and at the same time, withholding that same grace from each other. And friends, it’s doing damage. It’s damaging our relationships and it’s destroying our trust. It’s fueling the fire of perfectionism and planting seeds of self-doubt. It’s tearing down and dividing us when God calls us to build each other up and be united. And really, at our core, all the women I’ve ever met want the same things. We want a purpose that we can be proud of. We want a family that is healthy and happy. We want a body that we can feel comfortable in. We want a life that we love. These are the ties that bind us together as women. How different would our relationships be if we focused on that instead? How different would our conversations be if we focused on how all of the women around us are doing exactly what we are, the very best they can? Her methods may be her way and not my way, but that’s okay, because it’s her life. I don’t know of a single woman in the world that needs another person telling her what she should be doing. She doesn’t need more standards to meet; she needs support. She doesn’t need more advice; she needs affirmation. She doesn’t need more guidance; she needs grace. Let’s save our well-meaning advice, suggestions and opinions and instead focus on loving the woman in front of us. Let’s deliberately dissolve the judgment between us and realize that each of us is on a uniquely and perfectly messy journey of our own. When we focus on that, we can finally put our weapons down and sit next to a woman with a life entirely different from our own and appreciate everything she is and everything she offers without feeling envious or superior. When we stop focusing on what divides us, we can champion each other in a way that allows the women in our lives to feel supported and accepted exactly as they are and we can feel the freedom to accept ourselves and our own choices as well. We can finally rest in the paradox of finding comfort in our own uncomfortable choices. . . . . . I won’t judge you for dishes in your sink and shoes over your floor and laundry on your couch. I won’t judge you for choosing not to spend your one life weeding the garden or washing the windows or working on organizing the pantry. I won’t judge you for the size of your waist, the flatness, bigness, cut or color of your hair, the hipness or the matronliness of your clothes, and I won’t judge whether you work at a stove, a screen, a store, a steering wheel, a sink or a stage. I won’t judge you for where you are on your road, won’t belittle your offering, your creativity, your battle, your work. -Ann Voskamp - See more at: http://christywright.com/2014/09/the-ties-that-bind-us-together-as-women/#sthash.gk8faDJZ.dpuf
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